How to Change the Energy of Any Room You Walk Into

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the atmosphere?

Maybe it felt awkward. Quiet. Tense. Or perhaps you walked into a space where someone instantly made you feel welcome.

We often think the energy of a room is something that simply happens to us. But recently, I realised something that completely changed my perspective.

What if we have more influence over the energy of a room than we realise?

The Moment Everything Clicked

This realisation came from somewhere unexpected, sitting in the hairdresser's.

As I walked in, the salon felt incredibly quiet. My first instinct was to sit down, keep to myself and wait for someone else to start a conversation.

Then I caught myself.

Why was I waiting for somebody else to change the atmosphere?

What if I could be the person who changed it?

So I smiled.

I started asking questions.

I admitted that I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted.

Within minutes, the conversation was flowing naturally, laughter replaced the awkward silence, and the whole atmosphere felt lighter.

It reminded me of something I'd forgotten.

We spend so much of our lives waiting for other people to make us feel comfortable, when we have the power to help other people feel comfortable instead.

The Stories We Carry

Afterwards, I reflected on why I often felt uncomfortable in places like hairdressers.

It wasn't really about the salon.

It was about the story I'd been carrying.

My mum became ill when I was young and passed away when I was fourteen. There were so many little things she never had the opportunity to teach me, not because she didn't want to, but because life unfolded the way it did.

For years, I quietly believed everyone else knew what they were doing in spaces like that, and I didn't.

How many of us carry stories like that?

Maybe yours isn't about a hairdresser.

Maybe it's the gym.

A new job.

Dating.

Starting a business.

Walking into a room where everyone already knows each other.

We often mistake old stories for present-day truth.

What Sales Taught Me About Connection

Years before becoming a holistic therapist and coach, I worked in sales.

Ironically, that's where I learnt one of the most valuable lessons about confidence.

Confidence isn't about being the loudest person in the room.

It's about making other people feel comfortable.

I learnt that genuine connection starts with simple things:

• Smiling first.

• Making eye contact.

• Asking thoughtful questions.

• Being genuinely curious.

• Listening to understand rather than listening to reply.

The more I stopped worrying about how I was being perceived, the more naturally conversations flowed.

The Greatest Compliment I Ever Received

For a long time, I didn't recognise my own strengths.

It wasn't until colleagues, coaches and clients reflected them back to me that I realised something.

The feedback was rarely about my knowledge.

Instead, people would say things like:

"You make me feel comfortable."

"I feel like I can talk to you."

"I always leave feeling lighter."

That changed everything.

I realised that people don't always remember exactly what you say.

They remember how you make them feel.

Whether you're a therapist, a leader, a parent, a friend or a colleague, creating emotional safety is one of the greatest gifts you can offer another person.

So, How Do You Change the Energy of a Room?

It doesn't require a big personality.

It starts with small, intentional actions.

Smile before someone smiles at you.

Introduce yourself first.

Ask genuine questions.

Put your phone away.

Listen without trying to fix everything.

Make someone feel seen.

Most importantly, stop asking:

"Will people like me?"

Instead, ask:

"How do I want people to feel because I was here?"

That single question has changed the way I walk into every room.

A Final Thought

Every room has an energy before you walk in.

Every room has an energy after you leave.

The question isn't whether you influenced it.

You did.

The question is...

What did you leave behind?

If this blog resonated with you, I'd love for you to listen to this week's episode of The Grateful Living Podcast, where I dive deeper into the stories, lessons and experiences that inspired this reflection.