Healing the Good Girl Wound: Why People-Pleasing Keeps You Stuck

Many women carry a silent wound: the Good Girl wound.

It looks like:
✨ Saying yes when you want to say no.
✨ Feeling guilty for resting.
✨ Working twice as hard to prove yourself.
✨ Apologising when you’ve done nothing wrong.

And while the world might praise you for being “nice” or “selfless,” inside, you’re exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from your own needs.

I know this wound deeply, because I lived it. I held my breath in rooms where I didn’t feel safe. I clenched my jaw at night until it ached. I curled into the fetal position, my body bracing as though danger was still present.

In love, I found myself drawn to emotionally unavailable people — because my nervous system had learned that love had to be earned. In money, I replayed cycles of scarcity, overworking and overgiving until I was burnt out.

Here’s the science behind it:
The “Good Girl” isn’t a personality trait. It’s often a trauma response. Specifically: the fawn response.

When our bodies perceive threat, we don’t just fight, flee, or freeze. We can also fawn — appeasing others to avoid conflict and stay safe.

For many women, fawning became our survival strategy. Research shows that chronic self-abandonment can lead to higher stress, anxiety, and even physical illness. In other words: the body pays the price for being “good.”

How to Heal the Good Girl Wound:

• Somatic practices like EFT and breathwork remind your body that it’s safe to have needs.
  

• Inner child healing shows younger you that love isn’t conditional.
  

• Boundaries protect your energy and retrain your nervous system to trust safety in saying no.
  

• Rest teaches your body that slowing down isn’t laziness — it’s regulation.
  

Healing the Good Girl wound doesn’t mean becoming selfish. It means learning that you don’t have to be “good” to be loved. You just have to be whole.

✨ Reflection for You: Where are you still abandoning yourself to be good? And what would it feel like to take up space unapologetically?

If this resonates, explore more in my 1:1 sessions or book a massage or EFT session with me — safe spaces to begin unlearning the patterns your body has carried for too long.