From Coping to Healing: Releasing the Survival Strategies That No Longer Serve You
Coping is clever. It’s your body’s way of saying, “I’ll keep you safe.” But what kept you safe yesterday might be holding you back today.
My Story: How Coping Showed Up in My Life
For years, my body carried trauma in silence.
My hair fell out in clumps from stress.
I turned to emotional eating when feelings felt too heavy.
I held my breath in rooms where I didn’t feel safe.
I clenched my jaw so tightly in sleep that I woke up with headaches.
I curled into the fetal position at night, bracing against the world.
Energetically, the patterns showed up too: attracting emotionally unavailable partners, repeating scarcity cycles with money, over-giving until I was empty.
I thought these were flaws. But they were survival strategies — the nervous system doing its best with what it knew.
Why We Develop Coping Strategies
Trauma research and polyvagal theory explain this beautifully:
The nervous system chooses survival over thriving.
Coping behaviours like eating, clenching, or overworking are ways of managing an unsafe world.
The brain wires itself around the familiar, even if that familiar isn’t healthy.
This is why we repeat patterns. Not because we’re broken — but because our body equates familiarity with safety.
Moving from Coping to Healing
Healing is about teaching your body new ways to feel safe.
Try this:
Name your coping with compassion. Instead of “I can’t believe I did this again,” try “This is my body’s way of protecting me.”
Add a regulating practice. Butterfly tapping, deep belly breathing, or shaking out stress signals safety to the nervous system.
Start small. If money scarcity shows up, try saving a tiny amount or celebrating when you spend in alignment with joy.
Seek co-regulation. Safe relationships, therapy, and healing spaces help your nervous system remember it doesn’t have to survive alone.
Journal Reflection
Ask yourself:
✨ Which coping strategies show up most often for me?
✨ What are they protecting me from?
✨ What would it look like to thank my coping… and then gently release it?
Coping got you here. Healing will take you further. You are not broken — you are adapting. And with the right tools and support, you can move from surviving to truly living.