Why Your Body Might Be Pushing Love Away (Even If You Crave It)

You want deep love. You crave intimacy. You daydream about feeling chosen, safe, and met.

So why — when someone gets close — do you freeze, shut down, overthink, or run?

This is the confusing heartbreak of many healing women:
💔 Wanting love but feeling unsafe in it.

The reason isn’t because you’re broken. It’s because your nervous system has learned to brace for impact when love arrives.

Let’s explore why — and how you can start shifting that.

🚨 Your Nervous System Isn’t Sabotaging You — It’s Protecting You

Here’s the truth:

You don’t attract what you want.
You attract what your nervous system believes is safe.

So if your early experiences of love were unpredictable, conditional, or emotionally neglectful… love gets wired in your body as danger, not comfort.

It’s not a conscious choice. It’s a survival pattern.

That’s why:

• You chase unavailable people (because they feel familiar).
  

• You get anxious when texting someone new (because you expect rejection).
  

• You over-give or shrink yourself (because love once meant performing).
  

• Or you shut down completely (because closeness feels threatening).
  

This isn’t neediness or coldness. It’s your nervous system running the show.

💡 Attachment Styles & the Body

Our attachment patterns are reflected in how our nervous systems react in relationships:

• Anxious Attachment = Nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight.
  You're hyper-aware, scanning for signs of abandonment or rejection.
  

• Avoidant Attachment = Nervous system shifts into shutdown.
  Intimacy feels overwhelming, so you detach emotionally or withdraw.
  

• Disorganized Attachment = Your system flips between both.
  You crave love but fear it at the same time. It feels chaotic inside.
  

Understanding this is powerful, because it shows you:
You're not "too much." You're not "emotionally unavailable."
You're simply responding from a body that’s been wired for survival.

🌱 Healing Happens Through the Body

To feel safe in love, you don’t need to force yourself to trust or push past fear.

You need to teach your body that it’s safe to be seen, soft, and supported.

This looks like:

• Somatic practices like EFT, self-holding, or breathwork
  

• Inner child work, helping younger you feel heard and loved
  

• Gentle co-regulation, surrounding yourself with calm, safe energy
  

• Nervous system resourcing, grounding practices that signal safety
  

It’s slow, deep work — but it’s transformational.

When your body feels safe, love no longer feels like a threat.

It feels like coming home.

💌 Ready to Explore This More?

If this resonated, I invite you to listen to the matching podcast episode:
🎙 “When Love Feels Unsafe: Attachment Wounds & the Nervous System” – available now on The Grateful Living Podcast.

You’ll learn more about how your body might be reacting to love, and what you can do to start rewiring those patterns with care and compassion.

📥 And if you want personalised support, my 1:1 coaching and EFT sessions are designed exactly for this kind of heart-healing.

Love doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield.
You’re allowed to feel safe in it.